Don't scold a child who says they like the same sex, throw them out or send them for “conversion”: how the family reacts is linked to whether they attempt suicide

Cost

Free. The hard part is that parents first have to work through their own feelings and not say harsh things in the moment.

What you get

A survey in China covered 506 middle and high schools in 7 provinces, with 150822 students from the first year of junior high to the third year of senior high. Among boys, the share who attempted suicide in the past year was 2.2% for those who liked only the opposite sex, 6.9% for those who liked only the same sex, and 12.2% for those who liked both sexes. For girls the figures were 3.1%, 8.9% and 10.9%. That works out to about 3 to 5.5 times the rate of classmates who like only the opposite sex. The researchers adjusted for age, academic pressure, family finances and being bullied. After that, the ORs for these two groups of boys were 3.13 (95% CI 2.28–4.28) and 3.83 (2.85–5.14), about two to three times higher. A meta-analysis pooling 35 studies found an OR of 3.50 (2.98–4.12) for suicide attempts among sexual-minority adolescents. One study in the U.S. interviewed 224 gay and bisexual young people aged 21 to 25 and asked them to recall how their families reacted when they were teenagers. Compared with peers whose families rejected them very little, those whose families rejected them a lot had an OR of 8.4 for having attempted suicide. In another study, when parents themselves tried to change the child's sexual orientation, the OR for the child attempting suicide was 3.08 (1.39–6.83). When parents also sent the child to a therapist or a religious figure, it was 5.07 (2.38–10.79) (China / multiple countries / U.S.).

Notes

Graded B because these are one-time surveys, and how much the family rejected the child was recalled in adulthood, so they show only an association and can't show which caused which. Parents don't have to agree right away; first, don't do things that hurt the child. Under the law, parents may not abuse or abandon a child or commit domestic violence against a child. Frequent cursing and threats also count as domestic violence. If the child is low in mood or says they don't want to live, call 12356 (China's national mental-health hotline) first; see §1.25 (call 12356 when there are suicidal thoughts). You can also go to a psychiatry department as in §30.8 (a depression screening at 12 to 18). For why to stay away from “conversion,” see §6.28 (don't do sexual-orientation conversion). The beneficiary is the child, and also you.

Evidence grade

B : Supported by research but without a precise number, or based on small or single studies.

Sources

1. Huang Y, Li P, Guo L, et al. (2018). Sexual minority status and suicidal behaviour among Chinese adolescents: a nationally representative cross-sectional study. BMJ Open, 8(8), e020969. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjopen-2017-020969
2. di Giacomo E, Krausz M, Colmegna F, Aspesi F, Clerici M. (2018). Estimating the Risk of Attempted Suicide Among Sexual Minority Youths: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Pediatrics, 172(12), 1145–1152. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapediatrics.2018.2731
3. Ryan C, Huebner D, Diaz RM, Sanchez J. (2009). Family rejection as a predictor of negative health outcomes in white and Latino lesbian, gay, and bisexual young adults. Pediatrics, 123(1), 346–352. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2007-3524
4. Ryan C, Toomey RB, Diaz RM, Russell ST. (2020). Parent-Initiated Sexual Orientation Change Efforts With LGBT Adolescents: Implications for Young Adult Mental Health and Adjustment. Journal of Homosexuality, 67(2), 159–173. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2018.1538407
5. 全国人大常委会 (2024 年修正). 未成年人保护法（第十七条）. https://flk.npc.gov.cn/detail?id=ff8081818f197cf001905e567af635a0
6. 全国人大常委会 (2015). 反家庭暴力法（第二条）. https://flk.npc.gov.cn/detail?id=2c909fdd678bf17901678bf7f9d60889

Translated from the Chinese original. Original book, section 30, tip 15. Content may be out of date and rules differ by place. When you actually deal with an agency, a doctor or a court, follow what local officials, doctors and lawyers tell you. Disclaimer