Take a parenting course that teaches concrete methods if your child is hard to manage and you keep losing control and hitting or yelling

Cost

Parent schools (家长学校) run by schools, kindergartens and communities are public-interest programs and charge no fee. The kind of course with evidence meets once a week or every other week, for one to two hours each time, and lasts from four weeks to twenty-four weeks. You practice at home as instructed. The hard part is finishing the course and practicing every day.

What you get

Cochrane pooled 13 trials, 10 of them randomized, with 1078 parents. The children were 3 to 12 years old and all had behavior problems. For parents who took the course, their children's behavior problems decreased. Rated by the parents themselves the SMD was −0.53 (95% CI −0.72 to −0.34, a range of plausible values), and rated independently by outsiders it was −0.44 (−0.77 to −0.11). SMD is measured on the same scale as d, where 0.5 counts as medium. Parents' mental health improved, −0.36 (−0.52 to −0.20). Negative or harsh discipline decreased, −0.77 (−0.96 to −0.59) by parents' own rating and −0.42 (−0.67 to −0.16) by outsiders' rating. The authors said these are short-term effects. Another meta-analysis screened out 346 randomized trials, of which 60 measured behavior such as hitting and scolding children, spread across 22 countries. Hitting and scolding decreased right after the course, with d = −0.46 (−0.59 to −0.33). At 1 to 6 months it was −0.24 (−0.37 to −0.11). At 7 to 24 months it was −0.18 (−0.34 to −0.02), getting smaller over time. Most of these data were reported by the parents themselves. There are trials in China too. In Shanghai, 81 parents were randomized, and some took a Triple P group course. After the course, the children's adjustment problems and the parents' discipline and moods were better than for parents waiting for the course, and this was still the case after 6 months. In a rural kindergarten, 191 adults caring for children took part; some studied an online course on their own plus two group discussions. Two weeks after finishing, they reported about 33% less child maltreatment than those who were only given a book to read (IRR 0.67). Three months later, the children's behavior problems were also fewer (d = −0.40). The Family Education Promotion Law (《家庭教育促进法》) requires parents to learn about family education on their own initiative. Primary and secondary schools and kindergartens may run parent schools and regularly organize public-interest family education guidance. Residents' committees (居委会) and villagers' committees (村委会) may run community parent schools. Governments at the provincial level and above are to run public-interest online parent schools and service hotlines. Family education guidance organizations may not run for-profit training (nationwide, in force from January 1, 2022).

Notes

Graded A because there are numbers pooled from Cochrane and several randomized trials. The courses in the trials had several things in common. The person leading the course taught concrete methods, such as playing with the child, praise, rewards and discipline. Parents practiced and role-played in class, and had homework at home. Courses that only handed out materials or only held discussions were excluded, so the evidence does not cover the kind where you just listen to one lecture. What China's public-interest parent schools cover and how they teach varies by place and may not be this type. When choosing a course, look at whether it runs over several weeks and has you practice specific methods. Names often seen include Triple P, Incredible Years and parent-child interaction therapy (PCIT). This book does not recommend specific organizations or paid products. The effect of less hitting and scolding gets smaller after a year or two, so you have to keep practicing after the course ends. The beneficiary is the child, and also you. If the child already has serious emotional problems, take them to a psychiatry or child psychology department; see §30.8 (depression screening).

Evidence grade

A : Specific numbers from meta-analyses, large cohorts or randomized trials; for law and policy, the statute or official text.

Sources

1. Furlong M, McGilloway S, Bywater T, Hutchings J, Smith SM, Donnelly M. (2012). Behavioural and cognitive-behavioural group-based parenting programmes for early-onset conduct problems in children aged 3 to 12 years. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (2), CD008225. https://doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD008225.pub2
2. Backhaus S, Leijten P, Jochim J, Melendez-Torres GJ, Gardner F. (2023). Effects over time of parenting interventions to reduce physical and emotional violence against children: a systematic review and meta-analysis. eClinicalMedicine, 60, 102003. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eclinm.2023.102003
3. Guo M, Morawska A, Sanders MR. (2016). A Randomized Controlled Trial of Group Triple P With Chinese Parents in Mainland China. Behavior Modification, 40(6), 825–851. https://doi.org/10.1177/0145445516644221
4. Wang W, Zhang H. (2026). A self-directed parenting program to reduce the risk of child maltreatment in rural China: A cluster randomized controlled trial. Child Abuse & Neglect, 173, 107937. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2026.107937
5. 全国人大常委会 (2021). 家庭教育促进法（第十八、二十五、三十一、三十八、四十条）. https://flk.npc.gov.cn/detail?id=ff8081817cac3b2d017cac5a6c6f0109

Translated from the Chinese original. Original book, section 30, tip 17. Content may be out of date and rules differ by place. When you actually deal with an agency, a doctor or a court, follow what local officials, doctors and lawyers tell you. Disclaimer