Don't hit your child, and don't yell or call them stupid: children who are often hit or yelled at have more behavior and emotional problems

Cost

Free. The hard part is stopping your hand and your mouth in the moment the anger comes, and switching to a way of managing that doesn't use hitting or yelling. For what to switch to, see §30.17 (a parenting course that teaches concrete methods).

What you get

First, hitting. One meta-analysis counted only one kind, “spanking with an open hand or smacking the hands or legs.” It pooled 75 studies and 111 effect sizes covering 160927 children. Of 17 outcomes, 13 were clearly linked to being hit, and every one went in the bad direction. d is the effect size; 0.2 counts as small and 0.5 as medium. Aggression in childhood was d = 0.37 (95% CI 0.13–0.61, a range of plausible values). Externalizing problems were 0.41, meaning things like hitting others and breaking rules. Internalizing problems were 0.24, meaning things like anxiety and depression. Mental health problems were 0.53, poor relationship with parents 0.51, low self-esteem 0.15, and poor cognitive ability 0.17. Being physically abused by parents was 0.64. Antisocial behavior in adulthood was 0.36 and mental health problems 0.24. Putting all 111 effect sizes together gave d = 0.33 (0.29–0.38). Whether a child obeys on the spot had no clear link with being hit (d = 0.14, −0.19–0.47), and this outcome had only 5 effect sizes. Another review looked only at studies that followed children over time, 69 in all. Corporal punishment consistently predicted more behavior problems later, and no long-term good outcome was linked to it. 7 of the studies looked at how often children were hit, and 5 found that the more they were hit, the worse the problems. Now yelling. A U.S. study followed 976 two-parent families. When children were 13, parents who often shouted, swore, or called the child stupid or lazy saw their children's trouble and depressive symptoms both rise between ages 13 and 14. How affectionate the parents were otherwise did not cancel out this link. The reverse was also true: children who made more trouble at 13 were scolded more afterward. Under the law, parents may not commit domestic violence against a child. Article 2 of the Anti-Domestic Violence Law (《反家庭暴力法》) lists the forms of domestic violence: beating, binding, maiming, restricting personal freedom, and frequent cursing and threats. Article 12 of the same law requires guardians to carry out family education in a civilized way. When parents infringe on a child's rights, residents' committees (居委会) and villagers' committees (村委会) are to warn them and stop it, and report serious cases to the public security authorities (公安, the police). When the public security authorities, procuratorates or courts find such a case, they are to admonish the parents and may order them to take family education guidance (nationwide).

Notes

Disputed. These studies almost all just follow people and have no randomized comparison, so they can't show which caused which. In the spanking meta-analysis, 72% of the studies only looked at whether two things occurred together, or relied on recall afterward. Another meta-analysis included only studies that followed children over time, and after subtracting the child's earlier behavior, the link between spanking and externalizing problems shrank to 0.07 and to internalizing problems to 0.10. The authors of that one consider the effect very small. Yet another meta-analysis found that “conditional spanking” did better than 10 of 13 other discipline methods at reducing disobedience and antisocial behavior. It also found that spanking that is too severe or that is the main method of discipline is worse than the other methods. So what the opposing side can show is this: occasional, conditional spanking is not necessarily worse than other methods. For hitting hard, or hitting and yelling often, both sides think it is worse. A single slap or one raised voice is not stated by the law to be domestic violence; the law names beating and frequent cursing and threats. The beneficiary is mainly the child. If someone else at home hits the child, see §8.43 (personal safety protection order) for calling the police and applying for an order. If you see someone else's child being hit over a long time, anyone has the right to step in with words or to report it to the public security, civil affairs or education authorities. For a stranger's household matters, calling 110 (China's police number) or telling the residents' committee is enough; don't go to their door and try to break it up yourself.

Evidence grade

A : Specific numbers from meta-analyses, large cohorts or randomized trials; for law and policy, the statute or official text.

Sources

1. Gershoff ET, Grogan-Kaylor A. (2016). Spanking and child outcomes: Old controversies and new meta-analyses. Journal of Family Psychology, 30(4), 453–469. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000191
2. Heilmann A, Mehay A, Watt RG, et al. (2021). Physical punishment and child outcomes: a narrative review of prospective studies. Lancet, 398(10297), 355–364. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(21)00582-1
3. Wang MT, Kenny S. (2014). Longitudinal links between fathers' and mothers' harsh verbal discipline and adolescents' conduct problems and depressive symptoms. Child Development, 85(3), 908–923. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12143
4. Ferguson CJ. (2013). Spanking, corporal punishment and negative long-term outcomes: a meta-analytic review of longitudinal studies. Clinical Psychology Review, 33(1), 196–208. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.11.002
5. Larzelere RE, Kuhn BR. (2005). Comparing child outcomes of physical punishment and alternative disciplinary tactics: a meta-analysis. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 8(1), 1–37. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-005-2340-z
6. 全国人大常委会 (2015). 反家庭暴力法（第二、十二条）. https://flk.npc.gov.cn/detail?id=2c909fdd678bf17901678bf7f9d60889
7. 全国人大常委会 (2024 年修正). 未成年人保护法（第十一、十七、一百一十八条）. https://flk.npc.gov.cn/detail?id=ff8081818f197cf001905e567af635a0
8. 全国人大常委会 (2021). 家庭教育促进法（第二十三、五十三条）. https://flk.npc.gov.cn/detail?id=ff8081817cac3b2d017cac5a6c6f0109

Translated from the Chinese original. Original book, section 30, tip 16. Content may be out of date and rules differ by place. When you actually deal with an agency, a doctor or a court, follow what local officials, doctors and lawyers tell you. Disclaimer