Keep a separate account for "marrying for your elders," and don't mix it with your own
- Moderate value
- Evidence C
- Saves time
- Free
- Takes minutes
- Some willpower
In plain words
The benefit to your elders, meaning peace of mind, face and an end to the nagging, is real. But it does not automatically turn into a health benefit or relationship quality for you. And the three accounts of time, money and the cost of getting out are all borne by you. If you write two columns on paper and separate which gains go to you and which to your elders, you can see at a glance whether the account adds up.
- Cost
-
Free. On a sheet of paper, write two columns. One column is which gains from this marriage are your own, which the earlier items in this section can work out. The other is which gains are your elders': peace of mind, face, the nagging stopping. The hard part is keeping the elders' column apart and not merging it into your own.
- What you get
-
The elders' benefit is real. But it does not automatically convert into your health benefit (§10.8) or relationship quality (§10.4, whether a relationship is good depends on your own feelings). And the time account (§10.9), the money account (§10.10, §10.11, §10.12) and the cost of getting out (§10.15) are all borne by the person concerned. Once the accounts are kept apart, you can see for yourself whether the value of "getting married as a chore" (做任务式结婚) is high or low
- Notes
-
The elders' column can also add up to a very heavy item, and how to weigh it is up to you. For the fill-in checklist see docs/结婚划不划算.md
- Evidence grade
- C : The author's experience or common practice, without direct literature.
- Sources
-
- 作者经验，方法类建议
- 数据部分见本节前面各条
Translated from the Chinese original. Original book, section 10, tip 16. Content may be out of date and rules differ by place. When you actually deal with an agency, a doctor or a court, follow what local officials, doctors and lawyers tell you. Disclaimer