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English

In the first six months after a spouse dies, put meals, sleep, chronic-illness medicine and follow-up checks in the hands of one particular person who keeps watch

  • High value
  • Evidence A
  • Buys life
  • Free
  • Takes minutes
  • Some willpower

If you are thinking about suicide right now, call or text 988. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

In plain words

In the less than six months after a spouse dies, the chance of dying in the same period is about 40% higher than for people who are not widowed. After six months it falls to about 15% higher. For men it is about 23% higher, and for women the difference is so small it may be just chance. This gap is not something you get through by telling yourself to cheer up. What to do is put the medicine, the meals and the follow-up checks on a specific person, and don't count on remembering them yourself.

Cost

Free. Pick one specific person, a child, a sibling or a friend, and have them visit or call regularly. The hard part is speaking up to hand this over.

What you get

15 studies that enrolled people first and then followed them, with 2,263,888 people, were pooled. In the first 6 months after a spouse's death, death RR was 1.41 (95% CI 1.26–1.57), meaning the chance of dying in the same period was about 40% higher than for people who were not widowed. After 6 months it was 1.14 (1.10–1.18), down to about 15% higher. For men RR was 1.23 (1.18–1.28), about 23% higher. For women it was 1.04 (1.00–1.08, not statistically significant, meaning this small difference may be just chance). No clear difference was seen between under 65 and 65 and over. Another analysis pooled 123 papers, 1377 risk estimates and more than 500,000,000 (5亿) people. After adjusting for differences in conditions, HR was 1.23 (1.19–1.28), about 23% higher overall. Men were again higher than women. Men 1.27 (1.19–1.35), 27% higher. Women 1.15 (1.08–1.22), 15% higher.

Notes

These are studies that look back through population data, and other factors mixed in cannot be removed. Couples' lifestyles and illnesses are alike to begin with. But the pattern that “the first six months are much higher than afterward” appears the same in two independent pooled analyses, and is worth treating as a window when someone should look after you. Men have higher risk and are also less likely to ask for help. If an elderly person in the family has lost a spouse, use §17 to sort out accounts, guardianship and a will at the same time. If you can't find such a person (you live alone, have lost your only child, or your children are gone too), hand this task to the community and your phone; see §29.6.

Evidence grade
A : Specific numbers from meta-analyses, large cohorts or randomized trials; for law and policy, the statute or official text.
Sources
  1. Moon JR, et al. (2011). Widowhood and mortality: a meta-analysis. PLoS ONE. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0023465
  2. Shor E, et al. (2012). Widowhood and mortality: a meta-analysis and meta-regression. Demography. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13524-012-0096-x

Translated from the Chinese original. Original book, section 29, tip 5. Content may be out of date and rules differ by place. When you actually deal with an agency, a doctor or a court, follow what local officials, doctors and lawyers tell you. Disclaimer