If a loved one died by suicide, an accident or a homicide, don't try to tough it out; reach out for professional help

High value
Evidence A
Buys life
Free
Takes minutes
Some willpower

If you are thinking about suicide right now, call or text 988. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

In plain words

People whose spouse died by suicide are about 80% (men) and 70% (women) more likely than others to be diagnosed with a mental disorder within five years. Compared with people whose spouse died of other causes, it is also 70% to 100% higher. People bereaved this way are more likely to feel that others keep their distance and to feel shame. That is exactly the reason to go and find someone, not to wait until you feel better on your own.

Cost: Calling 12356 (China's national mental-health hotline) is free. To see a doctor, a psychological clinic visit costs the same as an ordinary outpatient visit. The hard part is speaking up to find someone.
What you get: A Danish national registry followed 6,700,000 (670万) adults from 1980 to 2014, more than 136,000,000 (1.36亿) person-years in all (the years each person was followed, added up). For people widowed by a spouse's suicide, the risk of a newly diagnosed mental disorder within 5 years, compared with the general population, was IRR 1.8 for men (95% CI 1.6–2.0), about 80% higher. For women it was 1.7 (1.6–1.8), about 70% higher. Compared with people widowed by other causes of death, IRR was 1.7 (1.5–1.9) for men and 2.0 (1.9–2.2) for women, 70% to 100% higher. In this group, suicidal behavior, mortality and the share needing municipal assistance were also higher. Risk was likewise raised for physical illnesses such as cirrhosis and sleep disorders. Another 57 studies were summarized one by one, without pooling the numbers. Bereavement by suicide is associated with four things. First, a higher risk of suicide in a partner. Second, a higher risk of psychiatric hospitalization in parents after a child's suicide. Third, a higher risk of suicide in the mother after the suicide of an adult child. Fourth, a higher risk of depression in children after a parent's suicide. Compared with people bereaved by other violent deaths, people bereaved by suicide more often said they felt others kept their distance and that they felt shame.
Notes: Sudden, violent death means accidents, homicide and disasters. After such deaths, the shares who get post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and stuck grief are all higher than after a death from illness. Recovery is also slower. If you yourself have thoughts of suicide, see §1.25.
Evidence grade: A : Specific numbers from meta-analyses, large cohorts or randomized trials; for law and policy, the statute or official text.
Sources: Erlangsen A, et al. (2017). Association Between Spousal Suicide and Mental, Physical, and Social Health Outcomes: A Longitudinal and Nationwide Register-Based Study. JAMA Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2017.0226
Pitman A, et al. (2014). Effects of suicide bereavement on mental health and suicide risk. The Lancet Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(14)70224-X
Kristensen P 等 (2012). Bereavement and mental health after sudden and violent losses: a review. Psychiatry. https://doi.org/10.1521/psyc.2012.75.1.76（备注里那份综述）

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Translated from the Chinese original. Original book, section 29, tip 4. Content may be out of date and rules differ by place. When you actually deal with an agency, a doctor or a court, follow what local officials, doctors and lawyers tell you. Disclaimer